Children Write About The Sea

I came across these little sea-bits written by children of varying ages at a website called Funny E-mail. In all my years working with children, I have learned, sometimes the hard way, that you never know what might come out of their mouths. These were just fun and even somewhat funny, so I thought I would share them here.

I will be headed to southern part of my home state of New Jersey for my annual retreat by the sea in a few weeks, so I am sure I will return with some new thoughts and pictures to share here.

I did seem to notice a theme in their writing; they seem to be a little preoccupied with body parts and bodily functions. Oh well still quite childlike and innocent.

Enjoy this sea version of Kids Say the Darndest Things.

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.(Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don’t have sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn’t blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)

I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

9) I’m not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can’t think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age

13) On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7)